Wednesday, August 28, 2013

From Miss to Mrs: Behind From Where We Came

There's one more special dance I wanted to share from our wedding day. This one wasn't planned, but it's probably one of the clearest moments from our wedding day. The dance was to "The Circle Game" by Joni Mitchell, a song I first remember hearing at sleep away camp. I remember once I was home, singing the song to myself while in the car with my dad, where he remarked on the fact that my mom loved that song and Joni Mitchell.

Since my dad first association when I sang that song was my mom, it makes sense that it was one of the songs he wanted played at my mom's funeral. A lot of that day is blurry to me, but one of the clearest moments is when the artist switched from John Denver, "Leaving on a Jet Plane" to "The Circle Game." At that moment, I noticed how within the first words it made an immediate impact on my mom's closest friend from college. Until that moment she had been she had been holding herself together, but hearing the words of a Joni Mitchell song, an artist who they had seen together in live, brought her to tears.
joni mitchell
A ticket stub from a concert they went to together, which my mom's friend saved all these years.
via my mom's facebook wall

Considering the song's lyrics, that life continues, that time is finite, that "There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty before the last revolving year is through," I felt it would be fitting to have that song play during dinner at the wedding. I thought it would symbolize that do bad things happen, but good things do too. And as much as you may want to, "drag your feet to slow the circles down," we know that "we can't return, we can only look behind from where we came."

I wasn't expecting anyone else to notice the gesture, but wanted to make sure it was played, even if it was just for me. What I wasn't anticipating is for others to get it. I didn't realize that during the song my mom's best friend from high school, my godmother, and my dad would dance to it together.
It turns out, what I didn't know at the time is that my mom also played "The Circle Game" at her wedding. Except instead of having a DJ play it, my godmother was the one who sang it. She had song this song for my mom at her wedding, and now she was dancing to it with my dad at her daughter's wedding without my mom.
It's funny in a way, because when you normally think of someone's passing you say how hard it must be for their family, but how often do you think about their friends? I know my mom's unexpected death was hard for everyone who knew her, in different ways. But you also expect to loose your parents. No, you don't expect it to happen 10 months before your wedding, but it's something you wonder about. Except when do you ever think about what it would be like to loose your best friend? I remember talking to my MOH about this after the wedding. What would it be like if one of us died and less than a year later we had to attend the other's daughter's wedding. How hard would that be?
I've heard people call their wedding the happiest day of their life. Except while our wedding was amazing, and there's a lot of special moments, and I would love to live it again, there's no way I can call it the happiest day of my life. There was too much of a hint sadness to think a day so bittersweet could be the happiest day of my life.

All photos in this post unless otherwise noted courtesy of Sabree Hill Photography.

Miss a Recap Post?
From Miss to Mrs: The Calm Before the Storm
From Miss to Mrs: There's a Hurricane Coming?
From Miss to Mrs: Here Comes Isaac
From Miss to Mrs: Weathering the Cane
From Miss to Mrs: After the Storm
From Miss to Mrs: Trials and Tribulations
From Miss to Mrs: The Last Errands
From Miss to Mrs: A Night on the Town
From Miss to Mrs: The Hangover
From Miss to Mrs: Rehearsing in the Heat
From Miss to Mrs: The Last Single Supper
From Miss to Mrs: Gifting the Girls
From Miss to Mrs: The Last Single Night
From Miss to Mrs: Oh What a Beautiful Morning
From Miss to Mrs: Getting Prettified
From Miss to Mrs: Prepping the Plantation
From Miss to Mrs: Turtle Time
From Miss to Mrs: The Photographer Has Arrived
From Miss to Mrs: Becoming the Bride
From Miss to Mrs: Dress Details
From Miss to Mrs: Ou Est le Groom?
From Miss to Mrs: A Bridge-y First Look
From Miss to Mrs: Couple Time
From Miss to Mrs: Just the Two of Us
From Miss to Mrs: Grouping the Girls
From Miss to Mrs: Ain't No Party Like a Bridal Party
From Miss to Mrs: Fun with Family
From Miss to Mrs: Making it Official
From Miss to Mrs: The Bedeken
From Miss to Mrs: The Final Minutes
From Miss to Mrs: Programming Break
From Miss to Mrs: The Processional
From Miss to Mrs: Walking the Walk
From Miss to Mrs: Circle to Ceremony
From Miss to Mrs: Remembrance to Kiddush
From Miss to Mrs: The Exchanges
From Miss to Mrs: Lucky Number Seven
From Miss to Mrs: Mazel Tov
From Miss to Mrs: Ceremony Details
From Miss to Mrs: The Yichud
From Miss to Mrs: Extended Fun with Family
From Miss to Mrs: The One Who Found You
From Miss to Mrs: You Are My Fire
From Miss to Mrs: Eat, Drink, and Be Married
From Miss to Mrs: I Want Candy
From Miss to Mrs: Let's Get Toasty
From Miss to Mrs: What a Wonderful World
Chits and Giggles


  1. I have tears in my eyes, this is just so lovely!

  2. This is so amazing! How special for you. I love it!

  3. This is a beautiful story. What a lovely tribute to your mom that the song was played and her best friend with your dad having that moment is amazing!

  4. I just adore this. And those pictures just capture these precious moments so, so well. I love it.

  5. Oh wow, tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story :)

  6. What a wonderful way to honor your mom! I felt that bittersweetness at my wedding, too. My dad passed away when I was 16, and then my brother's dad, who I was close to, had drifted out of our family. We received our guests before the wedding, and during that "reception," my husband's grandmother fainted and an ambulance had to be called. So it was not a good day. We were glad to get married, but the day was stressful and sad, and then we were on pins and needles all day and all night.