Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Think Before You Post

You might have noticed, but in general, I've made a point to post about wedding decisions after they've already been made. Although I do see the benefit of posting and asking an opinion to help make a decision, I've tried to shy away from it. In fact, when I've booked vendors, I've even tried to avoid identifying them by name. (Although in most cases if you're curious enough, you could probably figure it out.) One exception to this is our wedding photographer, since I hope to highlight her photos on the blog itself it seems only fair that she get her credit. Although still I'm not mentioning her name in this post itself, but since I first posted about her I got several hits from google searches looking information on her.

The reason for this isn't because I'm trying to be secretive or mysterious, but more because I'm putting this all out in the public. Imagine if I have a no-show by a vendor I had mentioned by name. I would most likely be blogging about it after the big day. And even if I didn't mention their name after the fact, it would be a fairly easy blog search to find out just who I was talking about. Yes, I am happy with the vendors I've booked, but in most cases I haven't mentioned the blog to them, and would feel slightly dishonest writing about someone without their knowledge. (I will say that I have mentioned the blog to both our photographer and our contact at the venue, which is part of the reason I'm comfortable sharing their names.)

But even if you don't mention someone by name it can still have its consequences. For example, on one of the blogs I read, the blogger poster her hesitations on buying a specific house. She had discussed the house they had made an offer on had several problems that they would most likely have to fix and asked her readers opinions on whether it was a chance they would take. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable and harmless post, and one that could help the writer.

And maybe it would have it could have helped her make a decision. Except the owner of the house they were looking to buy found the post and threatened to sue her for slander. There wound up not being a lawsuit, and it all worked out, but still there's that threat that what you post could turn into a lawsuit. (Of course sharing this story, I'm doing what I prefer not to which is posting about someone without their consent. If you reading this and you know this post is your story and you'd like it to be removed... well, just let me know!)

This is a lot of the reason why I avoiding posting until a decision is final, just in case something happens. Although that thought didn't help with the rabbi since I originally wrote this post thinking it was finalized. It is hard blogging knowing sometimes where to draw the line, but in general I'm happy with where I'm at.

Did you have a hard time deciding on where to draw the line where blogging? Or do you enjoy being able to receive feedback from readers before making a small or even large decision?


  1. Hahaha I knoowwww exactly who you're mentioning. She doesn't mind ;)

    I've recently started to be more and more vague with my posts because with my new job my name is VERY public in the community AND my blog is anything but anonymous and you can easily find it by searching my first and last name. However my last name is changing soon to a REALLY common last name (and I have managed to keep that off the blog) so I don't know if that will be as much of a problem for me anymore.

    I do like to use my blog to get advice on things though, as you know, and especially some wedding related decisions. I will say that I've recently started using Twitter a lot more for advice than my blog though since it's more instantaneous and conversational.

    I have avoided mentioning vendors names on my blog though (other than the actual venue where we're getting married). I will probably mention them after the wedding and do a little "review" of them for anyone else who is considering getting married in the area though!

  2. Other than my caterer I didn't mention any of my vendors on my blog. If something happened and my caterer fell through last minute, on my blog I would have tried to be graciously. I might be seething on the inside but that does me, my relationships with other vendors, and that vendor no good.
    With Twitter, Yelp and hundreds of ways to share about your experiences, it pays to be polite and try to deal with issues with vendors with the vendor first. Then share the complete interaction with others.
    I did a complete review of my vendors after my wedding for those locally who might want to use their services.

  3. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog - and yes, I had a hard time deciding how public to be about vendors on my blog too. I think it's great to read about others' experiences, so I've tried to be as open as possible in order to help others plan. But it is definitely a tough line to find!

  4. I have included all of the vendors' information in my recap posts if I was happy with that vendor and able to praise them - I feel like it's unfair to post a picture of my cake and not give the baker credit because she designed it. My wedding was pretty DIY so a lot of my vendors are Etsy. The vendor whose name will not appear is the caterer's because I was not so happy with her service and wouldn't want another bride to see her name on my blog and consider it a recommendation.

  5. Very interesting post. I personally think the homeowners completely over reacted and I am not sure they would have any basis in their lawsuit but it would still be a hassle! I never talked about my job though on my blog...well when I had one. I try not to be negative either. I posted about someone one time and it got back to them. I didnt really care but still, you never know who is reading!

  6. Yes!! I completely get this post. I have been having some issues going on and have wanted to talk to them but I can't. It's been hard to draw the line but I know that maybe one day after things are settled, I can!